I've been thinking a lot about marriage. Though I've spent my past 23 years actively avoiding giving the subject much thought, the fact that I am at that age where my peers decide en masse go tie the knot all at once makes it hard to ignore.
This being the case (the en-masse marriages, I mean), you will not be surprised to hear that I was recently at a wedding. Considerably more shocking is the fact that I was actually listening to and reflecting on the talk that the officiator was giving. Though the message was something to the effect that a husband and wife should love and honor one another as Jesus loved and honored the church (I'm no Christian, but I'll drink to that), I was particularly struck by the pastor's in-passing remark that we (the attendees) should support this marriage and encourage the young couple making no discouraging remarks about their union. Upon hearing this I thought to myself, Yes, yes, this is wise and true.
For me, this concept is a challenge. Not because I go blathering on about how doomed all my friends' marriages are, but because every time I hear of another 20-something getting married, I cringe just a little bit, thinking to myself that I just don't know. I don't know if we, as young adults, have the capacity to choose a life-parter that we can stand to be around for the rest of our lives. Yeah, we've graduated college and moved out of our parents' houses and everything but really, we're just kids, right?
But the guy makes a point. Acting upon the assumption that we are kind people who generally wish happiness upon those whose marriages we witness, we really ought to encourage the young couples. So long as they're up there tossin' around the I do's and there's nothing much to be done to stop them, what's left but to help them make it through with as little misery as possible? Getting married young has to be tough; getting married young when everybody's telling you you can't make it is probably just a big ol' bitch.
I'm the one on every adventure who hangs back, wringing her hands and saying "I don't know, guys, maybe we shouldn't be doing this;" the one who repeatedly encounters disaster despite attempted feats of spectacular caution. Because I barely trust myself to choose the right outfit to wear in the morning, I assume that few are able to choose the right partner to share the rest of rest of their lives with. I live in perpetual trepedation and find the mere concept of marriage dubious at best - but I've got to give it up for those who proceed with self assurance.
It's a do unto others... thing. In spite of debilitating interest in extreme caution, I hope to be married one day. When I marry, I will be certain of what I am doing. And when someone is certain - as I hope all the young lovers out there are - well, that's something that nobody gets to monkey with.